With a tip of the cap to Allan Sherman…
Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah, here I am at Camp Obama.
Camp is very straining. And they say we’ll have some fun if we stop complaining”.

Camp Obama, It’s a real education!

You saw on the Big Screen.
Now playing in DC.

To be released on VHS on Jan. 20, 2012. ScratchBrand Tapes-made from recycled DNC ads for ObamaCare™.

The Woodchuck is lookin’ out fer ya.
I figg’rd some common sense wuz needed ta solve the energy shortage.
Best part bout this, it’s not taxable if ya don’t tell the fools at the town hall.

Next I’ll be ginin’ up some cold fusion fer ya summer beer and hot fusion ta make tem wieners–jes as soon as I git the yard hay’d.

The sumptuous Cap & Trade Memorial to Climate Change that produced this huge “footprint” is no more.
Instead, it now glorifies the Immolation and the Ascension of the Gaian Trinity, Gore, the ONE and Babs.
Fire marshals ascertained that during the Canticle of Gaia, candles plus methane from the basso profundo section of the chorus, rapidly oxidized, causing the Goric Cathedral to ascend in this glorious display.

Attendance at other Goric Churches is down dramatically.

All this Global Warming, SORRY, Climate Change has taken it’s toll.

One of the most important individuals in this World Wide Event found his way on to a milk carton.

The whisperstream claims he set his pants on fire trying to keep warm.
Unsubstantiated rumor is the word from those in the know; the world renown climatologist and scientist par excellence has devised a machine that defeats the Second Law of Thermodynamics. The excess of wintery weather merely results from his adjusting the divining tuner and the scrambling oscillator.

I hope this clears it up some.

The DAFFY DUO of Obama and Biden present the

   NEW CIA

Here’s your bumper sticker!
Put it on next to your

KERRY FOR PREZ!

 It’s for THE KENNEDY SEAT!
That’s the chair in the DUNKING POOL, isn’t it?

Entire Country takes up new religious fad

On the eve of health care reform, the latest rage sweeps the country, causing haberdashers from Fifth Ave in Manhattan to 5^th St. in Incest, Iowa to order yards of black gabardine and flax fabric.

The Stetson Company is jerked back from the precipice of financial disaster by the surge in hat orders.

Amish families exempt from insurance mandate

HEALTH REFORM: People with religious objections can opt out

WASHINGTON — Federal health care reform will require most Northern New Yorkers — but not all, it turns out — to carry health insurance or risk a fine.

Hundreds of Amish families in the region are likely to be free from that requirement.

The Amish, as well as some other religious sects, are covered by a “religious conscience” exemption, which allows people with religious objections to insurance to opt out of the mandate. It is in both the House and Senate versions of the bill, making its appearance in the final version routine unless there are last-minute objections.

Although the Amish consist of several branches, some more conservative than others, they generally rely upon a community ethic that disdains government assistance. Families rely upon one another, and communities pitch in to help neighbors pay health care expenses.

All that is needed is a set of black pants, white shirts and a couple of neat hats.
Women dress chastely, no not in burkahs, but the Tats and Tackle box look will have to go! The whoreish look is OUT!

Any belief system works as long as you
don’t mind looking at a
HORSE’S ASS
in front of your buggy.

Most people will have no problem with
this adjustment;
they’ve been viewing
Congress and the President
for a sufficient
period of time
to provide recognition.

Progressive economic theory has Vermont in top contention with California for the first ever State Economic Darwin Award.

Of the 50 Progressive possibilities, only nine (9) are serious contenders, but Vermont soared to the forefront proving, as the smallest state vying, size is no barrier to Progressive stumbling.

“We’re at a disadvantage up here,” said Speaker Shumlin. “California has the ability to import poverty from Mexico, giving them a leg up on wealth redistribution.”

To level the playing field, Vermont reduced the revenue stream to that of Somalia, which really impressed the judges.

In another vital field, Vermont competes well with California and New York in exporting U-Haul trucks, trailers and commercial moving vans. Numbers are not in; Vermont because of the smaller population is trying to have this scored on a percentage basis.
The other states are balking.

The scheduled Darwin Award ceremony is right after the November election, unless one of the finalists croaks first. In that situation, immediately that state is declared winner.

  Governor Douglas noted he’ll abdicate,

 turn in his scissors, letting the Lt. Gov

 have the job if they can get him out

 of what ever airplane he’s in at the time.

Otherwise the Progs get the award by default.

Venezuela begins the new decade by showing Obama and the rest of the world how it cut the country’s carbon footprint to “GO GREEN” by GOING BROWN.

The penultimate of dumb–Chavez should have used wind and/or solar, dontcha know!

Venezuela begins 2010 with electricity rationing

Oil-rich Venezuela ushered in 2010 with new measures rationing electricity use in malls, businesses and billboards, as Hugo Chavez’s government aimed to save power amid a crippling drought.
The new regulations came into effect January 1, with businesses required to comply with reduced consumption limits and authorities warning of forced power cuts and rate hikes if the measures are not followed.

Flanked by World luminaries brilliant thinkers self-professed geniuses, Sean Penn, Al Gore and the East Anglia CRU Choir, Presidente for Life Chavez announced his new decree…

[snip]… published on Christmas Eve states that commercial centers may operate from 11:00 am to 9:00 pm on the electricity grid, but beyond that establishments would have to operate off-grid, using their own generators.

Venezuela is flush with oil — the country’s primary export — and natural gas, but relies mainly on hydroelectric generation to meet domestic energy demand.

With the country in a widespread drought, late last year Chavez announced a sweeping campaign to reduce widespread energy “waste,” stressing that rationing was necessary to avoid a systemic “collapse.”
[snip]

The power crunch is expected to have an impact on a wide variety of businesses, including cinemas, casinos and bingo halls.
Establishments failing to comply with the measures could face outages for a period of 24 hours, and up to 72-hour suspensions “in case of recidivism,” according to the decree.[snip]

Those recidivists have to be closet capitalists, bingo grannies, carbon abusers, and hoarders of incandescent light bulbs.

The regulation also orders businesses to institute savings plans aimed at shedding consumption by at least 20 percent, a measure that will be evaluated monthly by the newly-created ministry of electricity.
Tariff surcharges of up to 20 percent could be imposed on violators. [snip]

Those “Tariff surcharges” definitely will bring rain. By order of the Ministry of Electricity no doubt, they have the Runes of Power.

Chavez also said this is in solidarity with his Notre Americano amigos in Venezuela North, California.

A fashion felony, a visual assault, is there no decency in this world?
Very little exists from the looks of these photos.

Zoning Boards in every state except California banned her outfit. The saleswoman (not even a misogynist would sell her that) who sold it to her should be shot as an enemy of the people.

It is a wonder Morris Mini sales haven’t bottomed out.

I’d swear this is from the Vermont’s Granola Crescent.
When paint stores run end of year specials, this is what you get. Force the purveyor to move next door.

This is a greater sin than exposing yourself to a statue.

Finally, we have good taste in cravats. This sharp regimental goes well with the understated charcoal suit. Very pleasing to the eye.

A fashion note here, a Brooks Brothers stripe tie would have the stripes going from the right shoulder to the left waist. Thought I’d mention that.

Looks like the markets are doing well too.

Now you can celebrate the Solstice, Ramadan, or the holiday of your choice with the NEW POLITICALLY CORRECT Barbie, the  non-judgmental Burkah Barbie doll.

Give Buffy or confused Sherman an anatomically correct body of a young genitally mutilated Muslim woman with an amputated clitoris and the labia majora stitched together with thorns and ligament of a hyena.

This fabulous learning tool helps correct the misimpressions that the young females of our society have about their bodies. No more will they be a slave to the whimsy of fashion, produced by some crack addled gay women hater.

There are some things that always hold value, simply because they cannot be minted…

Barrick shuts hedge book as world gold supply runs out

 Aaron Regent, president of the Canadian gold giant, said that global output has been falling by roughly 1m ounces a year since the start of the decade. [snip]

All right lads, it’s cowrie shells and young tarts as the new currencies of choice. Lets see some government debase those values!

The centers of finance split to island beachcomber communities and VERY uptown NYC addresses where PETA never dares toss paint on a fur coat, where outlandish clothes, shoes and hats, not to mention cars are the business apparel rather than the Wall Street look.

Tax receipts will slide too causing a Prilosec™ moment for the current and future administrations

Several Kids Arrested After Food Fight

We need to avoid jumping to conclusions in situations where a strong anti-food sentiment shows up.
President Obama called for calm less we place blame on the oranges when white enriched pasta might actually be to blame.
Authorities are looking for evidence of radical vegan influence in this melee.

More than two dozen students were slapped with criminal charges in connection with a food fight in the cafeteria at a Chicago charter school.
The students were caught in chaos at Perspectives Charter Schools Calumet Campus. Police arrested 25 students ranging in age from 11 to 15 after a food fight broke out in the cafeteria Thursday.

“The next thing you know I saw a tray fly up in the air, and then I saw an orange fly,” student Jordan Grevious said. ‘Then, I heard the words ‘food fight.’” [snip]