Category — Humor
Happiness is not a secret
August 13, 2010 at 5:21 pm 2 Comments
Idiocy Defined
August 5, 2010 at 1:59 pm Comments Off
Offal Office Visitor
The Official Office of the United States receives many visitors each year.
It isn’t usual that one individual stops in more than once, much less a daily basis.
With this current occupant, that situation changed.

It is an attractant.
Archived in: HumorJuly 24, 2010 at 7:48 pm Comments Off
It’s all in the wording
Two illegals begging for money have drastically different results. When they compare collections, Carlos who begs for the same amount of time as Jose, only collects about eight or nine dollars a day.
Jose, on the other hand, brings home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills. He drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house, and has lots of cash to spend.
“Hey, amigo,” Carlos says to Jose, “I stand out there just as long as you do, so how come you bring home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills every day?”
Jose says, “Look at your sign, what does it say?”
Carlos’ sign reads;
I have no work, a wife and six kids to support
“What’s wrong with that?” Carlos asks him.
“No wonder you only get eight or nine dollars a day!”
Carlos says, “Alright, so what does your sign say?”
Jose’s sign reads:
I only need ten dollars to get back to Mexico
That my friends would be Compassionate Conservatism if one bought Jose a bus ticket with paid meals. Truly a gift from the heart.
Archived in: Compassionate Conservatism, HumorJuly 14, 2010 at 10:24 am Comments Off
It’s not far to Tip a Merrie!
“As good as this bar is,” said Angus, “I still prefer the pubs back home in Glasgow. There’s a fine place called the Smiling Bull of Lochanvar. The landlord goes out of his way to please… when you buy four drinks, he’ll buy the fifth drink.”
“Well, Angus,” said Brian, “at the Red Lion Pub in London, the barman will buy the third drink after you buy the first two.”
“Ahhh, dat’s nothin’,” said Patrick, “at me pub in Limerick, the moment you set foot in the place they’ll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you’ve been fully served, they’ll take you upstairs and make sure you get laid, all on the house!”
Angus and Brian were suspicious of this claim. Patrick swore every word was true. “Did this actually happen to you?”
“Not meself, personally, no,” admitted Patrick, “but it did happen to me sister quite a few times.”
Archived in: HumorJune 6, 2010 at 6:36 pm Comments Off
This solves the Illegal problem
The answer to “The Springfield Intruder” Post,
Don’t Hate Arizona for Enforcing Our Immigration Laws
IS

Archived in: Democrats, Harry Reid, Humor, illegal immigration, Nancy Pelosi, Obama, Obama AdministrationMay 29, 2010 at 7:50 pm Comments Off
The Daily Giggle
Maybe the Obamassiah will cough up the loot for his ‘bots. How about asking the big Limburger Olberman for a donation-Larry King is a soft touch for idiot projects, why not him?
Nation faces $1,000,000 deficit
The Nation is facing a $1,000,000 deficit and, as a result, it’s asking some of its reporters to make pleas for help.
Chris Hayes, the Nation’s Washington editor, sent this fundraising email out today:
Dear Nation Friend:
I’ve never written a fundraising letter — and living in a city where everyone is always hitting up folks for donations,… [snip]
Here’s what your Nation Associates gift helps support:
$35 buys me dinner with a confidential source in New York
$75 pays for an interpreter for a reporter researching a story in Afghanistan
$150 covers an Amtrak ticket to Washington so a writer can testify before Congress
$300 buys a labor reporter’s ticket to Detroit for a piece on unemployment
$500 (expenses extra) rewards a brilliant article by a young journalist on Tehran dissidents (emphasis added)This year, The Nation is facing a $1,000,000 deficit. And for The Nation that’s a lot of money. Believe me, I know. I’ve been working in the magazine’s Washington office as Washington editor for the last three years and the pay isn’t great. But there are very few media outlets that allow their writers and reporters the freedom to go beyond the headlines and take on the powers that be — to ask inconvenient questions and pursue uncomfortable truths
The cheap balloons won’t even dig into their own pockets to pay for dinner(s) when the rag is going tits up.
Bub-bye!
Archived in: Humor, Liberal Racists, MSMMay 20, 2010 at 8:43 am 4 Comments
A Gathering of Pervs
Might as well circulate the petition among the filthy and rich.
Roman Polanski petition circulating at Cannes
CANNES — To sign or not to sign is the big question at this year’s Festival de Cannes, and there’s not a deal memo in sight. But then a petition in support of director Roman Polanski, who is under house arrest in Switzerland in connection with a 33-year-old sex scandal, is always going to set tongues wagging.
The Croisette-pounders have even more to buzz about following new allegations Friday by British actress Charlotte Lewis that she was sexually abused by Polanski in 1982 when she was 16. [snip]
She had some seriously naughty things to say about the perv!
Polanski controversy casts shadow at Cannes
CANNES, France (AFP) – The controversy surrounding fugitive film-maker Roman Polanski on Saturday drew strong words in his defence from fellow director Woody Allen after fresh allegations that he abused a minor. [snip]
Allen, 74, said Polanski, who is fighting extradition from Switzerland to the United States to face sentencing in a 1977 child sex case, had paid a high price for his actions and that it was time to draw a line under the case. [snip]
From Woody!?! now, HERE’S an endorsement of the first order!
I love it when a RIGHTEOUS LEFTY comes out with a moral position to which he never subscribed.
Take away their Viagra scripts;
let them limp home.
Archived in: Humor, Liberals, SchadenfreudeMay 16, 2010 at 10:53 am Comments Off
From the mouth of “babes”
When I told my 17-year-old daughter Obama was involved in a sex scandal, she asked “Who’s the lucky guy?
“I’m SO damned proud of her. - SFAOV Sgsaur
Cuts to the chase, doesn’t it. ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Pussy’” !
Archived in: Humor, ObamaMay 3, 2010 at 5:04 am Comments Off
Take advantage of a sale!
A fleeing Taliban fighter, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghanistan Desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Desperate to find water, he hurried toward the object, only to find Abe Cohen, a very old Jewish haberdasher from Philadelphia selling ties at a small stand.
The Taliban asked, “Do you have water?”
Cohen replied, “I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5.”
The Taliban shouted, “Idiot! I do not need an overpriced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but first I must find water.”
“OK” said Cohen. “It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom.”
Muttering, the Taliban staggered up and the hill. Several hours later he staggered back.
“Your f**king brother Morris won’t let me in without a tie!”
Archived in: HumorApril 17, 2010 at 8:20 pm Comments Off
OOOOOhhhhhhh YEAH!!!!!!!!
The difference between Republicans and Democrats:
HOT BABES!
For those of you with tender tummies, bail out at the 3 minute mark-you’ve been warned!
Makes one wonder how screwed genetic pool can be?
H/T American Digest
Archived in: HumorApril 16, 2010 at 5:51 am Comments Off
ObamaCare won’t fix this
March 29, 2010 at 8:09 pm Comments Off
Reality TV
These are the ratings; you gotta love them.
You can see the Libtard shows rankings.
The breakdown is by Prime-time and total daytime viewing rankings.
Cable Network Rankings: FNC #2, MSNBC #26, CNN #32, HLN #37 in Prime
In total Viewers, Fox News was the #2 ranked cable network last week in primetime, averaging 233,000 viewers behind USA. MSNBC was #26, CNN was #32, and HLN was #37. In total day, FNC was #4, CNN was #29, MSNBC was #33, and HLN was #35. You can see the full rankings for the top 30 below.
The BIGGEST GUFFAW comes from the ranking of the CARTOON Channel which comes in at #13.
The Toon Channel have more believable characters than MSNBC at #26 and CNN at #32.
Archived in: Humor, Liberals, Media, TVMarch 18, 2010 at 7:37 am Comments Off
More Foot in Mouth in DC
Prime Minister Brian Cowen better make sure his mother isn’t ANYWHERE near Biden’s motorcade at the end of the presser.
Biden mistakenly blesses Irish leader’s mother
WASHINGTON — Vice President Joe Biden asked for God’s blessing for the late mother of Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen during a White House celebration of St. Patrick’s Day — except the elderly lady is very much alive.
“God rest her soul,” Biden said Wednesday night as he introduced Cowen and President Barack Obama. He quickly caught himself and noted that it’s Cowen’s father who is no longer living. Of the prime minister’s mother, Biden said, “God bless her soul.”
Biden then cited the Irish proverb that “a silent mouth is sweet to hear” and yielded the podium to the president.
Which is the odder statement:
Obama Says ‘Louisiana Purchase’ Will Help With the Earthquake in Hawaii
OR
Biden asked for God’s blessing for the late mother of Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen
What a pair!
Archived in: Humor, Joe Biden, ObamaMarch 18, 2010 at 6:39 am 1 Comment
This is why we have illegals.
Trim the yard the GREEN WAY?
Be safe, use petroleum propelled machinery.
Archived in: Environmentalism, HumorMarch 13, 2010 at 10:40 am 2 Comments











