On Christmas Day, President Obama called Congress into special session to pass the Quartering Act of 2009.

My Fellow Americans:

I know you will understand why I must do this; it grieves to do so while I sit here comfortably.

Changes must be made and this is the time for giving.

So,I’m giving it to you.

This year has proven to be tumultuous in my our Nation’s history. Tea Bagger (thanks to the MSM for that) protests and other such rabble have seriously undermined my poll numbers, causing them to slip lower than George Bush’s last set of numbers.
Somehow, Bush engineered all this.

This is not possible nor can it be allowed.

Since many of the police agencies in this country do not have the correct sympathies, Interpol will take up the daily law enforcement nationwide. Obey them; you are safe.

I have invited excellent troops from Cuba, Venezuela and Eastern Europe to augment my selected correctly led American Brigades. Internal security of this great nation, freedom from attack on our wonderful cities and Washington, DC is assured.

These troops need to be quartered and fed; this is where you as patriotic citizens join in saving our country. You will not be required to house more than four (4) troops and at least one will speak Spanish. You will be required to understand and accommodate their needs.

This will not be for very long and at the finish of this untidy moment, I promise you ELECTIONS will be restored; FREE elections under our watchful eyes to insure no scoundrel votes who shouldn’t.

Thank you
Barack Obama President USSA

Archived in: Obama Administration, Satire