The Revenge of the Elites

It was long past time that Barack Obama got around to scolding American tourists.  (The Power Line link is here).  You know who Barack was talking about - those bloats at The Pompidou Center,  in plaid shorts and sneakers the size of Teddy Bears. They can’t even speak ENGLISH properly, let along FRENCH. 

It’s unfortunate that Obama didn’t also get around to exposing those tanned, lard-butt German beach rats in electric-blue Speedos, or those bitter-looking, smelly, horse-faced French harridans in purple mascara.  Maybe if the gassy Germans allow Barack a podium at the Brandenberg Gate, he’ll do us proud and set these sausage-stuffers on the right high-speed railroad.

In my travels I’ve encountered all of the repellent hoards of Obama’s nightmares: mono-syllabic Americans,  aromatic,  homicidal Russians, oily Italians in white shoes, diabolical Asians with cameras, obsequious Sub-Continentals, stupid Poles, damaged, lachrymose Czechs,  a veritable globe-crawling manswarm of people so inferior to me and Barack Obama that a high-voltage cordon, with trip flares and concertina, is the only solution.

This is the our third try (and our best one) at the White House.  We started with Gore, then dipped lower to Kerry, and now we’ve got Kerry’s smarter replacement, Obama.  Our Gore Kerry Problem remains, however.  Our candidates all seem like talking waxworks from some Restoration Comedy.  Kerry and Gore could have slipped like Crisco into satin breaches, with makeup and painted beauty-marks, and scented hankies stuffed into their sleeves. 

Obama is less vulnerable to this perception for all kinds of defensible reasons, not least of which, he’s black, and therefore naturally incapable of the banalities of upper-classness.  Marx was right about the class struggle; he was just wrong about it’s properties.  It isn’t materialism and the means of production that matter, it’s status and prestige.   Elections in free societies are less about governance than about putting people like ourselves in power.   That’s why I’m voting for Barack Obama. 

(Signed)
An Anonymous Liberal