Is addressing someone as “Ma’am” offensive? 

by Optimistic Patriot

When did calling someone “Ma’am” become an offensive term? In an e-mail thank you note, I used “Ma’am” to address the recipient and was promptly jumped on for my efforts. In the military, Ma’am is used to show respect, and I was surprised that someone was offended by it. Further, the term slips into my speech quite often given my military background.

So what do you think? Is “Ma’am” an offensive term of address or is this just another example of a society in desperate search of more things to be offended by? I lean toward the later. People just don’t seem happy today if there isn’t something to be “outraged” about.

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October 18, 2006 at 12:13 pm | Trackback

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10 comments

1 wavemaker { 10.18.06 at 1:11 pm } 

I suppose a 22 year old hottie might be offended if a man older than her called her “ma’am.” I take the terms “madam” and “miss” to be formal references to a woman who is either senior to, or junior to (respectively) the addresser. Thus, calling an older woman “miss” implies that you are complimenting her youthful looks.

How does the offended party to whom you refer expect to be addressed by a strange male — “hey you” ??

2 Optimistic Patriot { 10.18.06 at 2:16 pm } 

“How does the offended party to whom you refer expect to be addressed by a strange male — “hey you” ??”

I don’t know. I had only corresponded with her via e-mail and thought being more formal was safer. Bad assumption I guess.

3 Jane { 10.18.06 at 2:24 pm } 

You can’t win with some people. Ma’am sounds
weird to a 22 year old, as said above, but it
certainly can be a reason to pick a fight.
The (supposed) rule is that in business, first
names apply.

OTOH I cannot imagine anyone being dumb enough
to be offended in a thank-you note. Maybe the
person is interested in you, and didn’t
like the formality.

4 Scrapiron { 10.18.06 at 3:48 pm } 

Ma’am is a term of respect. If the PC crowd don’t like that we can just start saying ‘thanks, you ugly bitch’. I”ve already slammed a door in the face of a bitch that cussed me out for holding a door as she entered the story. She didn’t think it was funny when I stood outside laughing and watched her make as ass of herself trying to get out of the door with a buggy full + an arm load of packages. It sure made my day.

5 Gayle Miller { 10.18.06 at 4:52 pm } 

Okay - now let an old broad deal with this one. (I’m not even REMOTELY P.C. as you can plainly see.)

When a woman “of a certain age” (in particular) is addressed as Ma’am, she automatically feels ten years older and THAT is why she is upset with you! Women do NOT like being made to feel older until they reach my age, when they begin to revel in their antiquity!

So now, it has been ’splained to you!

6 Retread { 10.18.06 at 5:45 pm } 

I grew up in Maryland, one of those border states that borrowed some of its manners from the South, and was taught to call any adult female ma’am, especially if she was married. I hear it less often these days but when I do the addressee usually seems pleased to be shown the respect. To be offended by good manners is to betray the lack of same in yourself.

I can understand the feeling older thing, but ’surrender gracefully the things of youth’ and all that. I’ll take manners over flattery, please.

7 victore { 10.18.06 at 6:10 pm } 

I was born and reared in Mississippi. When I was a child and child abuse was legal, it was hazardous to my health if my responses to older men and women was not yes sir and yes ma’am. It was the rule and it was vigorously enforced. Society was much more polite then.

8 Vermont Woodchuck { 10.18.06 at 8:33 pm } 

Use the term. I did in the military and it never was taken wrongly.

If this individual became cranked over the use, tough.

It sounds like the appellation “vache” is more correct for this idiot.

9 chrys { 10.19.06 at 7:35 am } 

Hmmmm What do you say in place of Sir anyway?!?! Personally - I hate it when in restaurants - people come up to me and say “what can I get you Ladies” - - BUT - - Geez - what else do these people want you to say?! NEVER a valid complaint here. Anyone who would jump on someone for using proper terms should be drop kicked to the planet they think they came from! What did they suggest you say here INSTEAD of Ma’am anyway?!

At one point in history this would never have been an issue. It was appreciated. Guess it’s the way MSM T.V. has brainwashed and colored our thinking with their one-liners knocking everything American.

We will no longer be able to show respect, affection or ask questions in any way.

10 Don Singleton { 10.19.06 at 4:21 pm } 

I guess if you were a man with a long haircut you might have a good reason to be offended